When I realized you had no plans of talking to me ever again, I was devastated. Why did you do that at a very crucial moment of my life? Just when I needed someone to listen, you deserted me. You promised you'd never leave me alone right? You promised to stay by my side. You promised to be my friend. Where are those promises now? Was it buried deep within the cold, frosted surface you're making everyone else believe you have? I had even no idea what made you do that. You just disappeared from the scene. It was not even a gradual farewell but a fast, shocking and painful one. You didn't even think about how I'd feel. You didn't even care how tough it must've been for me and everyone else who considered you a friend. More than that, you were my conscience, my diary and my confidante. The person I was closest to. A very important person in my life. Heh. Maybe you don't know how much that means to me. Maybe you're not aware of the comfort your presence had been during my darkest days. I am not a very trusting person. I rarely tell anyone how I really feel. You were one of the few whom I shared everything with. Again, I felt like I was betrayed. Like I was left alone once more. Now I ask myself. Now I am having doubts. Is there anything wrong with me? Did I do something that pushed you away? Am I such a bad person? This was the second time I cried so hard because of a friend. I never would've thought I'd be this affected. For months I had been enduring the stabbing pain. For months I have tried to deny that you're avoiding me. For months I had been living a blind faith. As much as I wanted to hate you, I just can't bring myself to do that. In some way or another, I still miss you. No matter how hard I tried to forget, I just can't. I remembered what you said before:

"I don't have a reason anymore. I just love her, pure and simple. Whether she's Insanity or Tohru, depressed or cheery, Yin or Yang, good or bad. She's Maxienne and she will always be the net buddy who is closest to my heart."

Why didn't I realize it sooner. "She will always be the net buddy closest to my heart." Net buddy. If feelings were computers, maybe you had yours reformatted. Deleting everything we talked about, along with the stories, the memories, the laughters and the tears...