_________.:+:. Shroom Side .:+:.________

Ava stood out at 10:18 PM

Yesterday is surely one of those days that I am soooo happy. It was our exam day. September 05, 2006. I took my PolSci2 exam and went to ELCO canteen to study for my next exam which was Health Econ. Upon reaching the canteen, I saw someone familiar. Sherwin. Geez. Instantly, my friends noticed that my face was beet red. Ugh! I know I blush too easily. I just hope he didn't notice. Well, anyways, he did recognize me and told me if I studied hard for the exam. I told him that I haven't read much *actually, I haven't read anything at all*. Heehee. When it was already 4pm and I stood up and fixed my things so I could go to our room. He also stood and I thought he was waiting for his classmate... but then it was me he was waiting for!!! Oh neeeer... ^_^ I tried sooo hard to hide my smile. My classmates started throwing me teasing glances. We walked "together" to our classroom... and it was a sweet moment because he was trying to start a conversation. I felt like I was stammering and he thought it was because I was nervous of the exam. *Oh boy! He was sooo wrong.* He said words of encouragement. Lolx. ^_^ We're next to each other during the exam. I finished ahead of him and went back to my friends. :) After a while, I saw him and he asked me how was the exam *which we both took.. lolx* I was like all-smiles and maybe he was already aware that I like him. Oh but he was all-smiles too... Geez... ^_^ Oh neeeeer... Anyways, the smile never left my face all throughout the day. Heehee. He's sooo like Arima. Ho-hum.

Ava stood out at 6:42 AM

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Here I go again. Realizing my own mistakes. Lolx. Regarding my previous post, I was just pissed off last night and I missed him which made me write that message. I've always tried to laugh everything out just to ease the tension. Humor seems to be my defense mechanism I guess. ^_^ Hmm... Diversional tactic needed and I'll be just fine.

*~*~*Dream Vacation*~*~*
Everyone has his own idea of a dream holiday. Whether it involves azure skies, blue seas, panoramic views of the mountainside, or lush green pastures, planning a holiday to remember requires, first and foremost, foresight.

I'd rather spend my leisure time in cold mountains *hey! I don't mean Mt. Everest! Lolx* coz I just want to look at the relaxing view just like old times in Baguio. Okay, speaking of holidays, we were planning to spend our Christmas in Malaysia with my dad. I am so excited. After the board exam *yes, I am planning to take it this December*, I'd be leaving for Germany so I could spend time with my sister there. Double the excitement! I just can't wait. It could be the major change I'd been hoping for. ^_^Oh well, before thinking about that, I must concentrate first with my responsibilities in school. :) Yatta~ *That sure made me go hyper*

*~*~*Maturity: Superficial or Not*~*~*
I was often treated as the "baby" of the group. I was given special attention as well as consideration that I, myself, often forget that I am a grown-up now. Not because I look young *yes, that's a compliment for myself. lolx*, I am not responsible enough. I may act, think and look childish but that doesn't mean I am not ready to live in the real world. Maybe you're missing something here. I admit that I am idealistic but I am not devoid of the hardships that reality brings. I am just a natural born positive thinker and I don't see anything wrong with that. I may fail acting and looking like a grown-up just because of the way I dress and/or move but I am definitely mature when it comes to decision-making. Don't let appearances mislead you. Who knows, one day you may see me and won't recognize me at all. :)

Ava stood out at 8:01 AM

Saturday, September 02, 2006

When I realized you had no plans of talking to me ever again, I was devastated. Why did you do that at a very crucial moment of my life? Just when I needed someone to listen, you deserted me. You promised you'd never leave me alone right? You promised to stay by my side. You promised to be my friend. Where are those promises now? Was it buried deep within the cold, frosted surface you're making everyone else believe you have? I had even no idea what made you do that. You just disappeared from the scene. It was not even a gradual farewell but a fast, shocking and painful one. You didn't even think about how I'd feel. You didn't even care how tough it must've been for me and everyone else who considered you a friend. More than that, you were my conscience, my diary and my confidante. The person I was closest to. A very important person in my life. Heh. Maybe you don't know how much that means to me. Maybe you're not aware of the comfort your presence had been during my darkest days. I am not a very trusting person. I rarely tell anyone how I really feel. You were one of the few whom I shared everything with. Again, I felt like I was betrayed. Like I was left alone once more. Now I ask myself. Now I am having doubts. Is there anything wrong with me? Did I do something that pushed you away? Am I such a bad person? This was the second time I cried so hard because of a friend. I never would've thought I'd be this affected. For months I had been enduring the stabbing pain. For months I have tried to deny that you're avoiding me. For months I had been living a blind faith. As much as I wanted to hate you, I just can't bring myself to do that. In some way or another, I still miss you. No matter how hard I tried to forget, I just can't. I remembered what you said before:

"I don't have a reason anymore. I just love her, pure and simple. Whether she's Insanity or Tohru, depressed or cheery, Yin or Yang, good or bad. She's Maxienne and she will always be the net buddy who is closest to my heart."

Why didn't I realize it sooner. "She will always be the net buddy closest to my heart." Net buddy. If feelings were computers, maybe you had yours reformatted. Deleting everything we talked about, along with the stories, the memories, the laughters and the tears...

Ava stood out at 7:39 AM