*~*~*Shinobi Way*~*~*

"Shinobi saying #25: No matter what situation, a shinobi must keep emotions on the inside. You must make the mission your top priority, and you must possess a heart that never shows tears..."

Ho-hum. Should it really be that way? Do we always have to keep our emotions bottled up inside?

I know I shouldn't let everything I've read affect me that much. After all, it's all in the past. Why worry now? Truth is, I'm not mad because she didn't accompany me to the things I'm involved in. Then again, did she have to lie to me? How many times had she done that before?

Siguro yun lang yung masakit. Alam ko naman na hindi sila nago-open sakin eh. Tinanggap ko naman yun diba? Wala naman akong sinabi or nireklamo about that. Ok lang sa akin as long as they are comfortable with it. Kahit wala akong gaanong naririnig mula sa kanila, does that mean they have to leave me behind? Malalaman ko na lang na lagi silang nag-uusap. Sila. Paano ako? Siguro iba na nga ang priorities namin. Marahil hindi ko lang namalayan kasi nga hindi na kami nagkakasama. Naramdaman ko naman eh. Siyempre, hindi ko lang pinansin. Kasi alam ko masasaktan ako. Heh. Ayun lang. Nakakalungkot. Lahat naman sinasabi ko sa kanya. Somehow, I always try my best to keep in touch with her. I am always like that to people I care about. So they'll know na hindi ko sila nakakalimutan. I've been doing that since God-knows-when and ngaun narealize ko.. Just now... was there a time na they've done that to me? Ni minsan ba hinanap nila ko? Heh. Kasi lagi na lang ako. Not that I'm ranting about it. It pains me lang kasi ganun yung situation. Masakit pala. Lalo na kung naging totoo ka sa kanila. At never kang nagtago ng kahit ano o nagsinungaling and make up something for an excuse. Sana sinabi na lang niya na meron siyang ibang lakad. Hindi yung gagawa ka pa ng ibang dahilan. Kasi pag nalaman mo yung totoo, nakakasira ng tiwala. Kanina lang iniisip kong bisitahin ka o sorpresahin man lang. Tapos malalaman ko na ang dami mo palang tinatago sakin. It makes me feel like ibang tao ako sayo. Kahit gaano ako ka-busy, basta pagdating ko sa mga kaibigan ko, mas uunahin ko pa yun. At alam kong you are aware of that fact. I've always put our friendship in my top priorities. Parang pakiramdam ko na hindi mo man lang naisip yung mga efforts ko. Sabagay, mas involved ka sa ibang tao and I understand that. Parang pakiramdam ko, for the second time you took me for granted. At napapagod na rin ako. I could do everything for you and Maan, pero naisip ko... sana nagtira rin ako para sa sarili ko.

Dapat ko na rin sigurong kabisaduhin ang Shinobi saying #25.

"No matter what situation, a shinobi must keep emotions on the inside."