*~*~*Helena*~*~*

"Long ago
Just like the hearse, you die to get in again
We are so far from you"

One night wrapped in my own sadness, as I was strolling down the secluded town of the archers, there in front of me was a fallen nurse cap. I wondered who lost it and as I was about to pick it up, a man did so leaving the essence of what I thought was already mine.

"Burning on just like a match you try to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worse you take
From every heart you break
And like the blade you stain
Well, I've been holding on tonight"

I sat down for a while sulking over the loss when someone offered a deal with me. He was holding a guitar with one piece of rose held in his mouth, sat beside me and offered what I lost minutes ago. Before receiving the nurse cap, I asked why he chose to gave it to me. Instead of answering, he just nodded and turned away.

"What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight."

I got up and followed you. Made friends and thanked you profusely. You laughed and what a sweet laugh that was. Knowing you were kind, I sat with you for a while talking about things in that strange world. You seemed to know a lot. Well, what do I expect from a member of a notorious organization known to that land?

"Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take
From every heart you break
And like the blade you stain
Well, I've been holding on tonight"

As we were talking, you happen to ask me why I was sad. I took a deep breath and told you what breaks my already heavy heart. Why I weep night after night thinking what could've been, regretting everything from the past. You looked up in that vast, blue sky. I can see the reflection sparkle in those spheres. For a moment, I thought my sadness was mirrored in those glistening eyes. You shook them away and wore the sweetest smile I've known. You told me lots of things that made me feel better.

"What's the worst that I can say
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight"

Secretly, I wished I could've met you earlier. Earlier than I met the one who shattered my heart into pieces. I would've been saved from my misery by that innocent smile, bright eyes and enigmatic laugh. But such is not the way of fate.

"Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide"

Sighed heavily, my depression strats to set in. Wallowing me with sadness I've never experienced in my life. Again, I weeped. Why won't I learn from my past mistakes? Why won't this heart stop loving? I thought... desperately, then I realized I was caught by this...

"What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight..."

Me: What if it's the only love you ever wanted?
You: It is the love you WANT, but, is it the love you need? Or you deserve?
Me: *in deep thought* I've asked that a lot of times... why?
You: Don't be cruel to yourself. Sometimes we have to learn to let go and look forward instead.

I didn't know that you were talking about what I should do... to get over you.

*Helena is a song by My Chemical Romance*